THE LONELY WANDERER’S GUIDE TO LONDON
TRAVEL ALERT
For those traveling to the Royal Museum of Silver and Penmanship in West India Quay this season, the endless construction and rerouting on the subway system (locals call it the "the tube" or "the big inflamed intestine") can prove to be a labyrinthine nightmare. Luckily, we here at the Lonely Wanderer have an updated tube planner which will get you there in no time, as we have no time estimates. [N.B. to our Roman Catholic readers: TUBE PLANNER is not a type of birth control]
Changes in the journey from CHARING CROSS to WEST INDIA QUAY
Former route: take NORTHERN LINE to MORDEN or KENNINGTON (via CHARING CROSS) change at EMBANKMENT for the DISTRICT LINE get on any train to PLAINSTOW, UPMINSTER, BARKING, TOWER HILL, or DAGENHAM EAST to TOWER HILL walk to the TOWER GATEWAY STATION wait for the DOCKLANDS LIGHT RAILWAY get on any train to: LEWISHAM or CANARY WHARF arrive at WEST INDIA QUAY 158 minutes after departure from origin.
New route: take FOSSIL LINE to GREATER SCRAPING or BATTERING SPA (via OILMOUTH) change at TONGUE AND FIELDS for the TIT BYRON LINE get on any train to VICARS LAIR, FISHLIVER, PIXIE, LIMP AND DODDER,
SAINT'S END, or NIL-BY-COTWALD walk to the BLACKENED MAW STATION wait for the IDLE NICHOLAS RAILWAY get on any train to BUTTERY TRANCE or NEIL arrive at WEST INDIA QUAY 700 minutes after departure from origin Adult: 1.90 Child: .80
NOTES: Journeys between SPATTERING GORE and SAUSAGE HEAD can be made on the SCUTTLE or PROJECTILE LINES. There are direct services between SPACKLE and VELVETY PRAM at weekends.
__________________________
For those adventurous souls who like their organ meats rare, the Bromley-by-Bow Inn is the place to be. Serving kidneys, lungs, and brains to generations of grizzled royalty, this small restaurant does not take reservations or credit cards, so be prepared for a
wait and bring cash. This out of the way place is unfortunately more out of the way than ever, but worth it for those with true intestinal fortitude.
Changes in the journey from ACTON TOWN to BROMLEY-BY-BOW (via: PINNER)
Former route:
Wait for PICCADILLY LINE train. Get on any train to RUISLIP, RAYNERS LANE or UXBRIDGE. At Rayners Lane, walk to METROPOLITAN LINE. Wait for METROPOLITAN LINE train. Get on any train to BAKER STREET, ALDGATE, WEMBLEY PARK, HARROW-ON-THE-HILL or MOORGATE. Change trains at Harrow-on-the-hill. Wait for METROPOLITAN
LINE train. Get on any train to WATFORD, CHESHAM, AMERSHAM or RICKMANSWORTH. Change trains. Wait for METROPOLITAN LINE train. Get on any train to ALDGATE or MOORGATE. At Moorgate, walk to HAMMERSMITH & CITY LINE. Wait for HAMMERSMITH & CITY LINE train. Get on any train to BARKING or PLAISTOW. Arrival in Bromley-by-bow 118 minutes after departure from origin.
New route: Take the SWEASY line to MERINGUE DOTE CROSSING. Get on any train to NIECE BRAG ROW or MOUTHMOUTH. At DEFENESTRATION, walk to DERISORY GLEN LINE. Get on any train to PREDICATE'S LANE, FOX
BUCKET, or HOP. Change trains at BONG AND RATTLE. Wait for LOZENGE LINE train. Get on any train to POUNDING TROUT or SLEDGE AND WELLS. At SLEDGE AND WELLS, walk to PREACHERS LINE. Wait for PREACHERS LINE train. Get on any train to EVIDENTIARY or PLANK.
Arrive in Bromley-by-bow 438 minutes after departure from origin. Adult: 2.20 Child: 1.00
NOTES: For journeys to FAERY change at RUDE STATION CLEARING STATION allowing 5 minutes for change. No HOSTAGE WAFER trains between ONION TASTE and VERUCA early mornings and late evenings (or Sunday)
__________________________
For a break from the fast pace of London, why not head towards the fields of Upney, long famed for being the spot which receives the largest amount of sunshine in the entire South of England. On a lucky winter month, these fields may see up to 20 hours of sunlight. Bring your sunglasses and tanning lotion. And follow
the new route listed below.
Changes in the journey from LIMEHOUSE to UPNEY (via CUTTY SARK)
Former route: At STATION DURATION ACTION in LIMEHOUSE, wait for DOCKLANDS LIGHT RAILWAY train. Get on train to LEWISHAM. At CUTTY SARK, change to DOCKLANDS LIGHT RAILWAY train. Get on train to STRATFORD. At BOW CHURCH, walk to BOW ROAD. Wait for DISTRICT LINE
train. Get on any train to UPMINSTER or DAGENHAM EAST. Arrival in UPNEY 73 minutes after departure from origin.
New route: At EGG STATION, wait for CRAB HEAD train. Get on train to TIPPLE BEHAVIOUR. At SNOUT HAMPER, change to CHEMIST LIGHT RAILWAY train. Get on train to NEAR BEGUILE. At FAR PARISH, walk to SPACKLE. Wait for EMPTIE LINE train. Get on any train to COMFY
TUREEN or WHEEDLE. Arrival in UPNEY 973 minutes after departure from origin.
Adult: 1.70 Child: 0.80
Notes: Journeys between RARE BEETLE and PELL MELL can be made on the SPANKING ENGINE LINE.
TRAVEL ALERT
For those traveling to the Royal Museum of Silver and Penmanship in West India Quay this season, the endless construction and rerouting on the subway system (locals call it the "the tube" or "the big inflamed intestine") can prove to be a labyrinthine nightmare. Luckily, we here at the Lonely Wanderer have an updated tube planner which will get you there in no time, as we have no time estimates. [N.B. to our Roman Catholic readers: TUBE PLANNER is not a type of birth control]
Changes in the journey from CHARING CROSS to WEST INDIA QUAY
Former route: take NORTHERN LINE to MORDEN or KENNINGTON (via CHARING CROSS) change at EMBANKMENT for the DISTRICT LINE get on any train to PLAINSTOW, UPMINSTER, BARKING, TOWER HILL, or DAGENHAM EAST to TOWER HILL walk to the TOWER GATEWAY STATION wait for the DOCKLANDS LIGHT RAILWAY get on any train to: LEWISHAM or CANARY WHARF arrive at WEST INDIA QUAY 158 minutes after departure from origin.
New route: take FOSSIL LINE to GREATER SCRAPING or BATTERING SPA (via OILMOUTH) change at TONGUE AND FIELDS for the TIT BYRON LINE get on any train to VICARS LAIR, FISHLIVER, PIXIE, LIMP AND DODDER,
SAINT'S END, or NIL-BY-COTWALD walk to the BLACKENED MAW STATION wait for the IDLE NICHOLAS RAILWAY get on any train to BUTTERY TRANCE or NEIL arrive at WEST INDIA QUAY 700 minutes after departure from origin Adult: 1.90 Child: .80
NOTES: Journeys between SPATTERING GORE and SAUSAGE HEAD can be made on the SCUTTLE or PROJECTILE LINES. There are direct services between SPACKLE and VELVETY PRAM at weekends.
__________________________
For those adventurous souls who like their organ meats rare, the Bromley-by-Bow Inn is the place to be. Serving kidneys, lungs, and brains to generations of grizzled royalty, this small restaurant does not take reservations or credit cards, so be prepared for a
wait and bring cash. This out of the way place is unfortunately more out of the way than ever, but worth it for those with true intestinal fortitude.
Changes in the journey from ACTON TOWN to BROMLEY-BY-BOW (via: PINNER)
Former route:
Wait for PICCADILLY LINE train. Get on any train to RUISLIP, RAYNERS LANE or UXBRIDGE. At Rayners Lane, walk to METROPOLITAN LINE. Wait for METROPOLITAN LINE train. Get on any train to BAKER STREET, ALDGATE, WEMBLEY PARK, HARROW-ON-THE-HILL or MOORGATE. Change trains at Harrow-on-the-hill. Wait for METROPOLITAN
LINE train. Get on any train to WATFORD, CHESHAM, AMERSHAM or RICKMANSWORTH. Change trains. Wait for METROPOLITAN LINE train. Get on any train to ALDGATE or MOORGATE. At Moorgate, walk to HAMMERSMITH & CITY LINE. Wait for HAMMERSMITH & CITY LINE train. Get on any train to BARKING or PLAISTOW. Arrival in Bromley-by-bow 118 minutes after departure from origin.
New route: Take the SWEASY line to MERINGUE DOTE CROSSING. Get on any train to NIECE BRAG ROW or MOUTHMOUTH. At DEFENESTRATION, walk to DERISORY GLEN LINE. Get on any train to PREDICATE'S LANE, FOX
BUCKET, or HOP. Change trains at BONG AND RATTLE. Wait for LOZENGE LINE train. Get on any train to POUNDING TROUT or SLEDGE AND WELLS. At SLEDGE AND WELLS, walk to PREACHERS LINE. Wait for PREACHERS LINE train. Get on any train to EVIDENTIARY or PLANK.
Arrive in Bromley-by-bow 438 minutes after departure from origin. Adult: 2.20 Child: 1.00
NOTES: For journeys to FAERY change at RUDE STATION CLEARING STATION allowing 5 minutes for change. No HOSTAGE WAFER trains between ONION TASTE and VERUCA early mornings and late evenings (or Sunday)
__________________________
For a break from the fast pace of London, why not head towards the fields of Upney, long famed for being the spot which receives the largest amount of sunshine in the entire South of England. On a lucky winter month, these fields may see up to 20 hours of sunlight. Bring your sunglasses and tanning lotion. And follow
the new route listed below.
Changes in the journey from LIMEHOUSE to UPNEY (via CUTTY SARK)
Former route: At STATION DURATION ACTION in LIMEHOUSE, wait for DOCKLANDS LIGHT RAILWAY train. Get on train to LEWISHAM. At CUTTY SARK, change to DOCKLANDS LIGHT RAILWAY train. Get on train to STRATFORD. At BOW CHURCH, walk to BOW ROAD. Wait for DISTRICT LINE
train. Get on any train to UPMINSTER or DAGENHAM EAST. Arrival in UPNEY 73 minutes after departure from origin.
New route: At EGG STATION, wait for CRAB HEAD train. Get on train to TIPPLE BEHAVIOUR. At SNOUT HAMPER, change to CHEMIST LIGHT RAILWAY train. Get on train to NEAR BEGUILE. At FAR PARISH, walk to SPACKLE. Wait for EMPTIE LINE train. Get on any train to COMFY
TUREEN or WHEEDLE. Arrival in UPNEY 973 minutes after departure from origin.
Adult: 1.70 Child: 0.80
Notes: Journeys between RARE BEETLE and PELL MELL can be made on the SPANKING ENGINE LINE.
posted by Jay Stern at 10:48 AM
3 Comments:
Again the name acted as lunesta a spur on Ross.. Miss Biffin's way of handling her knife ativan and Mr.. back under the singulair domination of the foreconscious; it thus affords relief for the excitement of the Unc.. To explain this dream as a wish is easy when we remember that to be wellbutrin big is a frequently expressed wish of all children.. You'll sell those same lots in less than a fortnight for fifty thousand dollars profit! albuterol Monsieur Poopoo pricked up his ears at this, and was lost in astonishment.. There must be one or more common thyroid factors.. Well, Smiley kep' the beast in a little lattice box, and he used to fetch him downtown sometimes and lay for a bet. prednisone. Oh, what we have magnesium missed! It is really too provoking.. Then in abrupt reaction he laughed aloud, so that the shrill, wellbutrin musical falsetto startled the passers-by, and in another moment a little semicircle of the curious watched spellbound as a black man, exquisitely appareled, danced in wild, loose grace before the dull background of a somewhat grimy and apparently vacant window.. No one zithromax who is not well grounded in Freudian lore can hope to achieve any work of value in the field of psychoanalysis.. To an external sense-stimulus the sleeper can wellbutrin react in many ways.. Age is glucophage no protection against folly.. Nervy, said lamictal Mr.. The man wrote, in a round viagra flourish, Edward Eastman Ellsworth, wife, and son.. Major Talbot, said Hargraves, with a winning smile, I wish diltiazem you would understand me...
Again the name acted as biaxin a spur on Ross.. Miss Biffin's way of handling her knife cipro and Mr.. back under the fosamax domination of the foreconscious; it thus affords relief for the excitement of the Unc.. To explain this dream as a wish is easy when we remember that to be yasmin big is a frequently expressed wish of all children.. You'll sell those same lots in less than a fortnight for fifty thousand dollars profit! cymbalta Monsieur Poopoo pricked up his ears at this, and was lost in astonishment.. There must be one or more common celexa factors.. Well, Smiley kep' the beast in a little lattice box, and he used to fetch him downtown sometimes and lay for a bet. captopril. Oh, what we have topamax missed! It is really too provoking.. Then in abrupt reaction he laughed aloud, so that the shrill, magnesium musical falsetto startled the passers-by, and in another moment a little semicircle of the curious watched spellbound as a black man, exquisitely appareled, danced in wild, loose grace before the dull background of a somewhat grimy and apparently vacant window.. No one cyclobenzaprine who is not well grounded in Freudian lore can hope to achieve any work of value in the field of psychoanalysis.. To an external sense-stimulus the sleeper can ambien react in many ways.. Age is albuterol no protection against folly.. Nervy, said lipitor Mr.. The man wrote, in a round paroxetine flourish, Edward Eastman Ellsworth, wife, and son.. Major Talbot, said Hargraves, with a winning smile, I wish celebrex you would understand me...
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ...
Post a Comment
<< Home